So what if i am still SINGLE?

Twenty-one years. Twenty-one years and i am still single. Not a single month or year in my life that i spent with such "special someone". But i do know what is love. I know how it feels not to be loved, to be taken for granted or to be ditched by that person whom you truly loved.

Twenty-one years, Christmas is about to come and still i belong to a group we called "SMP", Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko. I don't know why everybody is so concerned about me being a single lady, it's unlikely that i am the only one in this world that is loveless. Well, yeah, somewhat its true. :)

I never had a boyfriend. And that is the truth. Before, i feel like something is wrong with me because there are no guys i've known that was into me. But as i grew up and become more matured, i began to understand everything. Being a single is being unique. Being a single is being strong. And being a single is fun.

Untitled

Times like this seems never to last
When every emotion to have is only confusion and being afraid
Afraid on what's going to happen next
Afraid that it might be the last.

Times like this, i always seem to panic
But i can't help it
this heart of mine is not strong enough
to bear this fear that lived in my soul
from the longest time i can't even tell when.

Since i was a little
this fear grew into huge pieces
Yet i can't yell,
yet i can't tell
its only I who knew this all along
that i am a scary little girl
with no hand to hold.

Now that i am a lady
smart enough to say things i wanna say
i can't still stand on my own
only fear comes along my way.

i don't know what to do
think of positivity is not worth trying for
negative things also fell back
with this life of mine
I don't know where  to go.

My Lolo and Lola's Unconditional Love

Me when I was a kid with my grandparents :)

Today, we are celebrating Grandparent's Day. And because of that, i decided to write something about them. I am not really that close to my family but we do a lot of things together, we do fun memories and though we are not as showy as others', i know we love each others.

Its hard for me to talk about my family because of the set-up i had to grew up with. The only thing I know is that I am my Lolo's favorite apo and my lola loves me so much, she has to do things for me without any demand.

I know they will not able to read this but i am hoping they can feel my silent love as a greatest love an apo can ever give to any grandparents (gosh, i feel like crying).

All my life I have been living with my lola, we call her Lola Piling. She was the kind of lola that is so strict when it comes to spending my days away from home, gala-gala or overnights (or only with me), sometimes she become bad-tempered and hates everybody on our house, she loves playing Bingo and God knows how kind she is. Too kind for her children to easily over-power her. I may not able to say it but i am proud to say that I am her granddaughter. 

If you're in her position, what will you do?

I don't know if I can tell this case, but who cares right? A close friend of mine is into severe thinking about her life and barely needs a smart solution. I don't know either what to tell her for whatever she has to do, it will lead to two possible things; either she will succeed or she will be haunted.

So here's the cue:

My friend is currently working for months in a company-that-must-not-be-named and experiencing some not quite the right way of labor. Why? How? Listed below is the problem...

◄ delayed salary for about five or more days

► no benefits ( no SSS or PhilHealth)

◄ 10 hours of work from Monday to Friday without salary increase

◄ Cash Bond to be given after her two year contract which has been deducted from her 6 months salary

► very strict authority

◄ low salary

For now, that is only the demand she's been talking since she worked on that company-that-must-not-be-named. And she, I and my friends are wondering what she will do. Waiting for two years is really long, and some good things might happen. But, can she surpass the problems that she will get after breaching her contract? Will an AWOL worth it (cause resigning is not really allowed, as she said).?

Our friends, from the very start told her to step out of that company because there far better companies out there. But if you were on her position, what will you do?

Where can her final decision lead her?

Thank you guys for giving an opinion. My friend will surely appreciate it.  :)

♥lady bhadz

Fireworks: My Life's Medicine

I can't think of a better title. I just witness a fireworks display from our little Barangay's Fiesta celebration. I don't know why, but every time i saw those beautiful different colors of light way up in the sky, i feel relieved. I feel so happy, so careless and free. All my problems are gone instantly.

It happened last two years ago, when i realized how beautiful fireworks are. Seeing them in the sky with those shining stars are magnificent in no other description. Those colorful dots lingers on my iris quite telling me that there are still amazing things happening behind these conflicts on my life.

Muntik na kitang minahal..

I don't know why.. I came into this song.. *sigh* With no particular person.. I dedicate this song :(

♥lady bhadz

Go Away Sadness

August 24, 2011
Wednesday

I really feel so sad today. 

I feel so weak.

I feel like I don't want to move. 

I don't know why.

I went to Mercury Drug to buy dark chocolate, 

I haven't found my favorite chocolate.

I thought, a piece of chocolate 

would ease away this emotion.

I really feel so sad.

I can't say no more.

What to do?

What to think?

What to say?

Nothing but *sigh*.

I just feel like writing.

Say everything i have inside.

But only one word to explain this.

I am totally SAD. :(

♥lady bhadz