Long Lost Love Part 3

I felt so relieved after that day that Ben and I met up. The next day, me and my boyfriend get to see each other. Gosh, sobra ko syang namiss! Gusto ko syang i-hug sa gitna ng kalsada! Good thing hindi kami PDA.

Me: Hi! I missed you so much! OA ba?

Miane: Oo! Last friday lang kaya tayo nagkita! haha!

Me: Arte mo! Buti nga na miss ka pa eh! Miss mo ko?

Miane: Hindi! Kaya nga ako nandito eh.

Me: Kelan ba ko makakakuha ng matinong sagot sayo?

We were always like that, my new found love, always kidding around. Got some stupid fights yet still manage to create good memories, happy ones and stupid too. :) What a love, right?

Special Person in my Heart

Life is never really what we wanted it to be. But God gave us things we need and some precious gifts that we will always keep in our hearts.

God gave me this person whom I fell for. I love her. Yes a girl named Maybelle. We did fun, we had fun. We laughed at our silly jokes, fought over stupid conversations and slept with phone hung on our ears.  We were so different from each other. I am the emotional type with foolishness and she was the not-so-sweet type of person whom I always wanted her to be.

I am happy with her, a feeling I haven't felt for a long time. I feel secure with her, and I feel so special when she holds my hand. Fingers to fingers, so sweet as i remember.

We're DONE and its KILLING a part of me :(

So this is it? I never thought it'll end like this. I was never been a part of LGBT community, but now I am proud to admit to myself that I am one of them.

Remember this post: the only exception: Brielle? It was our story. This may look crazy. It may look like it wasn't me. But the hell I care. I love that person. So what if she's a lesbian.

Its just hard for i don't even try to make things work. I just gave up on us without considering her feelings. *sigh*

People's advice and opinion on this matter is really confusing. This makes me think when I can't even think straight. I thought that to love is to be happy. No other things to consider. As long as you are happy and you are not hurting other people. But in this life, there are some consideration. As a Christian, I can't really admit if this is a sin, i just know that our relationship was never right. 

But think about it, can we really have or do the right thing when it comes to love when everything seems to be right? It feels like fighting against the whole world. And though your friends are everywhere, comforting you like the old times, you can't really feel okay. 

Moving on is not a one night process, it'll take some time. I know that. But no matter what happen, and with this decision of mine of leaving you, please always remember that I am still here to be your friend. I will always love you. Let's just take some time till our wounds be healed. 

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love.  A love that requires nothing. Just a hope. Hope for that person to love you back.

How hard could it be when that special someone can't love you back completely. When a doubt seems to be the only thing he/she believes in. 

Unrequited Love. Two words, just two words yet can be the only words to tell what you are, who you and how you became that "ONE".

I'm tired. Living with these words. Trying to be someone, pretending to be strong. I'm tired of being the weakest link. But what else can I do? When every time I think of doing changes in my life, i feel more tired.

Well, i guess this is just another sleepless night, while i will be lying on my bed, hugging tight Garfield and Babz with thoughts circling around my head. I can sense my head telling me to stop worrying, stop doubting. But I can't. Why? No assurance given, lack of trust to invest and more thrilling emotions to experience.

I am hoping for something. Unrequited Love - please be with me. :)

Fool Again :/

i was a fool.. 

then i became a fool again..

how stupid i was.

to believe in all these lies

i thought i was strong

yet you came along

without knowing why

you made me confused

with words i thought was real

now weakness had caught me

though i refused to let it in

tell myself

i must be strong again..

now i know

why believing is hard

why doubt is enough

for me to trust my instinct.

i was wrong

or i was paranoid

i don't know.

guess i must take it slow

think before i go beyond

think before i let you go.

Life is a Mess: Crab Mentality

 This piece just came into my mind while i  was so disgusted with some events happening right now. I just want to speak it loud so i can let it go away then  let myself free..

Life is a Mess: Crab Mentality

Life is amess

you need to clean it by yourself

full of envious people everywhere

whom you thought was your family.

Long lost love?

Five long years. Five long years of not seeing him. I am still single and already 27 years old. I had suitors, but i just can't pick.

Matindi ang sikat ng araw. In October! Can you believe that? Ang panahon nga naman sa Pinas, napakagulo. Parang mga pusong ligaw, ang gulo-gulo. I was on my way papunta sa mall, galing akong work kaya naglalakad lang ako. Malapit lang naman kasi ang Ortigas sa SM Megamall eh.

Haba ng pila sa entrance. Ay! Mega sale nga pala kasi at payday pa. Buti pa sila! Taliwas kasi ang sahod namin sa mga sale's day. Pero may kaperahan pa naman ako kaya keri pa rin. I hate shopping alone. And worst, eating alone. Para kong loner talga na kakababa lang ng bundok. At least maganda ang outfit ko this day.

So what if i am still SINGLE?

Twenty-one years. Twenty-one years and i am still single. Not a single month or year in my life that i spent with such "special someone". But i do know what is love. I know how it feels not to be loved, to be taken for granted or to be ditched by that person whom you truly loved.

Twenty-one years, Christmas is about to come and still i belong to a group we called "SMP", Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko. I don't know why everybody is so concerned about me being a single lady, it's unlikely that i am the only one in this world that is loveless. Well, yeah, somewhat its true. :)

I never had a boyfriend. And that is the truth. Before, i feel like something is wrong with me because there are no guys i've known that was into me. But as i grew up and become more matured, i began to understand everything. Being a single is being unique. Being a single is being strong. And being a single is fun.