Saturday, April 28, 2012 1 comments

Special Person in my Heart

Life is never really what we wanted it to be. But God gave us things we need and some precious gifts that we will always keep in our hearts.

God gave me this person whom I fell for. I love her. Yes a girl named Maybelle. We did fun, we had fun. We laughed at our silly jokes, fought over stupid conversations and slept with phone hung on our ears.  We were so different from each other. I am the emotional type with foolishness and she was the not-so-sweet type of person whom I always wanted her to be.

I am happy with her, a feeling I haven't felt for a long time. I feel secure with her, and I feel so special when she holds my hand. Fingers to fingers, so sweet as i remember.

Sunday, April 22, 2012 1 comments

Looking Back for Being This STRONG :)

They say that the very best revenge you can give to those people who have hurt you is being happy despite the fact that you are broken. At first, I thought it was hard, but then I realized one thing. It is indeed the best revenge.

I have been hurt thousand times, yet I am standing still. Why? It's not that I am strong but because I have God and the people who truly loves me by my side. My heart has been broken, many times I can't even remember how many, but still here I am.

I regret those times that I feel so stupid and desperate for some people who doesn't even want to welcome me in their lives. But then, I feel so successful that I did entered in their lives by doing crazy things.

One I can't forget was the memories with Gener, he was very special, though he doesn't like or love me back. I did things to get his attention, did I succeed? No and yes at the same time. For the first time in my life, he was the only man i ever imagined to live my life with. Crazy, right?

Now, almost a year had passed since we had our last conversation. Things with him left me hanging with questions, doubts, confusions, hurts and eye opening truths. Though he treated me bad, or should I say not that well, still I can stand to be mad at him. Its his prerogative not to like me, and i swear he played fair by being nice to me. With him, I learned a lot of things, I imagined loads of things and realized that he was given to me because he has to teach me something.

He never liked me, i knew it and felt it. But he treat me nice. Lesson learned? Accept that not everybody can love you as much as you love them. Accept the fact that someone can't really be a part of your dream life.

He never had return calls or texts when he has his girlfriend and when i am deeply falling for him. Lesson learned? What he did was good. It is always better to avoid things so that I can't be hurt much further and so there would be no conflicts with his relationship.

I never knew his side, but i knew him deep inside.
Hw would never believe how much impact he made to my life, but i am really thankful, that once in my life, i had him. and he became one of the reason why I am much stronger now.

Thanks Gener, wherever you are from now. 
I moved on, though there was no deep connection between us and we've never been. I thank you. I really do. :)
Sunday, March 18, 2012 3 comments

My Experienced with PyroMusical in the Philippines

03.17.2012 /Saturday

It was the last show of PyroMusical competition in the Philippines for this year. Gladly, I was given the chance to witness this spectacular show. It was Italy who last to performed, because, Philippines as the host, doesn't compete (or just what i thought). Again, I felt so proud to be on MOA and capturing the whole event that night. I super love Italy and I felt a sudden rush of proud when they started to light up the sky. It was so beautiful, so magical. I had released every negative vibes I had in my body in an instant.

That is of course I am so into fireworks. I don't know why, but it really has that spark that telling me that everything is gonna be alright. As you can follow my journey, my life is hanging by a thread.

Friday, February 24, 2012 0 comments

We're DONE and its KILLING a part of me :(

So this is it? I never thought it'll end like this. I was never been a part of LGBT community, but now I am proud to admit to myself that I am one of them.

Remember this post: the only exception: Brielle? It was our story. This may look crazy. It may look like it wasn't me. But the hell I care. I love that person. So what if she's a lesbian.

Its just hard for i don't even try to make things work. I just gave up on us without considering her feelings. *sigh*

People's advice and opinion on this matter is really confusing. This makes me think when I can't even think straight. I thought that to love is to be happy. No other things to consider. As long as you are happy and you are not hurting other people. But in this life, there are some consideration. As a Christian, I can't really admit if this is a sin, i just know that our relationship was never right. 

But think about it, can we really have or do the right thing when it comes to love when everything seems to be right? It feels like fighting against the whole world. And though your friends are everywhere, comforting you like the old times, you can't really feel okay. 

Moving on is not a one night process, it'll take some time. I know that. But no matter what happen, and with this decision of mine of leaving you, please always remember that I am still here to be your friend. I will always love you. Let's just take some time till our wounds be healed. 

Saturday, January 14, 2012 0 comments

Time is Up!

In this fast changing world, what is the biggest change you want to happen in your life? We are now in 2012, modern day with full of different technologies, cafe bars everywhere, gimmick places at the corner and Maria Clara's out of hand. I am a 21 year old lady, turning 22 on July, and no big changes happened to me when it comes to TIME.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012 0 comments

Common Signs of Abuse in a Relationship | Personal Growth Guides

Common Signs of Abuse in a Relationship | Personal Growth Guides

I found this very helpful for all couples out there.. Might help you as well. :)

Thursday, January 5, 2012 0 comments

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love.  A love that requires nothing. Just a hope. Hope for that person to love you back.

How hard could it be when that special someone can't love you back completely. When a doubt seems to be the only thing he/she believes in. 

Unrequited Love. Two words, just two words yet can be the only words to tell what you are, who you and how you became that "ONE".
I'm tired. Living with these words. Trying to be someone, pretending to be strong. I'm tired of being the weakest link. But what else can I do? When every time I think of doing changes in my life, i feel more tired.

Well, i guess this is just another sleepless night, while i will be lying on my bed, hugging tight Garfield and Babz with thoughts circling around my head. I can sense my head telling me to stop worrying, stop doubting. But I can't. Why? No assurance given, lack of trust to invest and more thrilling emotions to experience.

I am hoping for something. Unrequited Love - please be with me. :)