We're DONE and its KILLING a part of me :(

So this is it? I never thought it'll end like this. I was never been a part of LGBT community, but now I am proud to admit to myself that I am one of them.

Remember this post: the only exception: Brielle? It was our story. This may look crazy. It may look like it wasn't me. But the hell I care. I love that person. So what if she's a lesbian.

Its just hard for i don't even try to make things work. I just gave up on us without considering her feelings. *sigh*

People's advice and opinion on this matter is really confusing. This makes me think when I can't even think straight. I thought that to love is to be happy. No other things to consider. As long as you are happy and you are not hurting other people. But in this life, there are some consideration. As a Christian, I can't really admit if this is a sin, i just know that our relationship was never right. 

But think about it, can we really have or do the right thing when it comes to love when everything seems to be right? It feels like fighting against the whole world. And though your friends are everywhere, comforting you like the old times, you can't really feel okay. 

Moving on is not a one night process, it'll take some time. I know that. But no matter what happen, and with this decision of mine of leaving you, please always remember that I am still here to be your friend. I will always love you. Let's just take some time till our wounds be healed. 

the only exception: Brielle

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gotta get" 

Since the day i have watched Forrest Gump, these words became my words. From the moment i realized it was right, things became clear. Throughout my life, unexpected things keep on happening. And this one is something i never thought i could ever experience.

October of 2011, regular shift on our office had new trainees for the position of graphic designer/website designer. It is unlikely new to us, but what caught my attention was the newest trainee. The smallest of the group, someone who doesn't seem to talk much, different and someone i never thought I'll get close with. And honestly, i had my first impression as the basis of having what is used to think about "her".

Since the day i was born, i haven't much time getting involve with lesbians, i doesn't even have a single friend of their kind, that's why when first saw this new trainee, i instantly doesn't paid much attention to her. Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against them, its just that i was just too busy lurking myself with boys and gays are usually the friends i choose to have.

Who's Faking It??

 I've changed, i noticed that

With no reason, without a doubt

I don't know how, I can't tell why

Should i let it win?

Should i let it go?

What else can i do, it's all over my system?

I was so weak, I was in vain

then something came, i became so strong

i learned to hide, i learned to fake

Just to be brave when someone is in pain.