Rest In Peace Robin Williams

Robin Williams 

July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014

Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy 

As I opened my Facebook this morning, my newsfeed was flooded by the news that Robin Williams, one of the best actors worldwide was found dead on his apartment. His cause of death was suicide. His publicist said that Mr. Williams was experiencing severe depression. 

Robin Williams was not one of my favorite actors but he used to be a great one. Especially on comedy films. I watched him in Dead Poet Society and Jumanji when I was younger. 

Mr. Williams portrayed a lot of characters in different movies and each characters left a special part in our hearts. Each characters taught us something that we apply in our lives. 

Everyone in the world, either his fan or not, young or old, we know that this news is a shocking one. I feel sad and I am grieving for what has happened to him. 

May you rest in peace Mr. Keating. I will always say "Carpe Diem". 

For more detailed report, please read on: Robin Williams Dead: Beloved Actor Dies In Apparent Suicide




*Photo Credits from Google Images.

How did I Moved On that Fast?

I’m not sure if I am capable of writing a little something about this issue. I don’t know where to start. But as promised to one of my closest guy friend, I will sum up everything I did for the past 5 months for me to fully recover from an unexpected break-up situation.

To be honest, I saw the “thing” coming. I felt that the relationship was soon to end. But still, I wasn’t that prepared. I thought I will end up cheating with my partner or fall in love with someone else as the reason for the break-up. But, it wasn't turned out that way.

Of course in every relationship, both can make a mistake. Both can have their own point of view. Mine was: I loved too much. I got jealous. End of the story.

I was too vulnerable to pain. I asked too much for attention. To be loved. To be appreciated. To be accepted. Failing a relationship which I thought was good and forever was a total pain. More to say, my pride was deeply hurt.

So, how did someone like me, a not-so-strong girl overcome this phase?

Hang out with Friends

Yes. Friends. My friends played a huge part on my moving-on situation. They've been there. Always there. They listened to my agonies, they gave me advised, and they stayed. They showed me that even when I failed with the wrong relationship, I will never be alone. Because they will always be there.

Travel as much as you can

March 2014 – Burot experience with my friends in the office. Everything started here. For me to help myself get back on the shape, I travel. Every month, whenever there is an invitation for an outing, get together, movie dates, mall hopping or any activities, as long as I am available, I join. I went to different places and tried new adventures.

Beer all the way!

They say that drinking beers won’t solve anything. When you’re sober, you’ll still get to remember everything. You can still feel the pain. But seriously, if there were no beers, I might never recover that fast. Haha. Drinking a bottle or two of beers, with the right people can really help.

Socialize with everybody

It’s not everyday that we meet new people. Being friendly is in my nature. I talk to everybody. During my moving on days, I tend to talk to different people aside from my friends. New people who doesn't know my story yet. Gladly, last March, our office expanded and more people got hired. I befriend some of them, I knew people from every account and I stayed nice. It did help.

Smile, have a crush, love again – there are many fishes in the ocean ;)

I think above everything else, what helped me the most is the idea that she’s not the only person in the world. I can still love and be loved. It’ll just take time. Also, someone did help me to move on (not that he knew any of this – he’s totally clueless). I focused my attention to him, gave anything that I can give, I was nice to him and so was he to me. As soon as I have totally moved on from my ex, my friendship with this guy has also ended.

Accept what needs to be accepted

It was a month or three after the break-up before I fully accepted the fact that we can never get back together. That the relationship has truly ended. It was hard to accept something like this but I HAD TO. I accepted the fact that I made a mistake but also opened my mind that not everything was my fault. I had to accept, though it hurt that she has found a new love. She fell out of love with me because she fell in love with someone else. I had to accept that some relationship won’t last.

Pray for the courage – talk to HIM

I may not look like a spiritual person but I do know how to pray. Actually, I didn't pray, I talked to God. I asked him to guide me, to help me get through this easily. I asked for the courage to leave everything behind for me to start the new chapter of my life. And from then, I believed that God has a better plan for me. He did put me on a better place.

There, I guess I've listed all. Here’s from me to you all: Shit happens and it’s OKAY.

Anong Meron sa Elevator?

21st Floor. Going down. Aba'y akalain mo, minsan nga naman kapag di sinadya, dun may nangyayaring kakaiba, dun kayo magkakasabay. Sa elevator pa. Paboritong lugar mo na nga to eh. Mahaba haba kahit papaano ang lakbayin, 21st to 2nd floor. Apat na corners lang, kaya hindi ka matatakbuhan. Winner.

Minsan naman. Paakyat ka, palabas sila ng elevator. Yuyuko ka na lang. Kunyari wala kang nakita, sabay lingon para tignan kung lilingunin ka ren. Medyo adik lang. Pero effective. Kasi nasaktan ka sa pag-aassume mo. Hindi sya lumingon.

Talo ka kapag dalawa lang kayo na sasakay sa elevator, hindi sya sasakay kasi. Dahil may dalawa pang option, hihintayin nya either yung service elevator o kaya yung sirang elavator na dumadaan every floor. Makaiwas lang sayo. Hanep ano? Palos eh.

Pero kapag kasama ang tropa. Ang tahimik mo. Lahat ata ng salita nalunok mo. Puro ka tawa at hagikgik. Anong nangyare? Wala. Na-tense ka. Habang sya, kausap mga tropa mo at nakikipag biruan sa kanila. Bigti na. IKAW lang ang dine-deadma na. Nilaglag ka pa nila. 

Sa elevator kasi, minsan hindi ka makakapamili. Wala kang choice ika nga. Parang love lang. Bakit mo nga naman ipagsisisksikan kung alam mong puno na, pero wala kang choice minsan kundi sumakay. Lalo na kung umusog ang sakay para makapasok ka. Pero once na makapasok at makasakay ka na, bababa ka pa ren once na nakita mong "overloading" na.

Naisip ko lang. Masaya ako sa elevator na to. At hindi ko pa sya kayang iwan.

Simple, Pero Rock!

July 11, 2014 - 24th Birthday ko. Sa lahat ng kaarawan ko, ito yung taon na masasabi kong galak ang naramdaman ko bukod sa saya. Hindi ako nag-expect ng kahit na ano; regalo, surpresa, espesyal na bagal mula sa mga kaibigan ko, pamilya - pero sa huli naging masaya ang buong araw ko.

Hindi  ko naisip na kulang ang selebrasyon ng kaarawan ko kahapon dahil may mga tao, o may isang tao na hindi nakabati. Okay lang yun. Ang mahalaga, eh yung mabalitaan ko na maayos rin sya. At valid ang rason nya.

Umaga pa lang, marami na akong natanggap na pagbati. Facebook, Texts, Viber, Skype at Personal greetings. Masaya sa pakiramdam dahil may mga nakaalala. May mga nag effort na gamitin ang mga daliri nila para mag type ng "Happy Birthday". 

Simpleng pagbati, simpleng pag-recognize na araw ko kahapon. Puro saya, biruan, at pagiging kuntento. Tama, sa buong buhay ko, kahapon ko naramadaman yung salitang kuntento. Na kahit walang regalo akong natanggap, parang ang saya saya ko. At buo ang araw ko.

Until, sa hindi inaasahan... may nagpasa sa akin ng link. YouTube link. Gumawa pala ng video ang mga ka-opisina ko. Na touched ako, na appreciate ko sobra. Kahit mas malakas ang tunog ng "In The End" kumpara sa greetings nila. :)

Isa pa sa mga nagpasaya sa akin kahapon ay ang pagtupad ko sa isang simpleng pangarap na hindi ko akalaing sasakto sa birthday ko. May DSLR na ko! Canon pa! Haha! Masaya lang talaga ako. Sa loob ng 2 taon at mahigit 6 na buwan kong pagtatrabaho, nakabili ako ng isang bagay na talagang gusto ko para sa sarili ko. Push ko ang photography lalo na sa foods at sa Toothless ko. 

So, sa kaarawan kong Simple, Pero TUNAY na Rock! Maraming salamat sa lahat ng bumati. Pakiramdam ko , napaka espesyal ko. Daig pa ang siopao :) At higit sa lahat, sobrang nagpapasalamat ako sa pagiging blessed. 

Sample Shots :P Pagbigyan, Please!

Its July Baby! Its July!

Hello July!!! Please be good to me! Pretty please?

Oh come on! Do I really have to say these words? I really hope not! July is my birth month. And I am hoping that no one nor nothing is going to ruin this special month for me. Please try not to create more drama in my life. I am so over these dramatic cliché! I want changes. And I want to believe that this is possible.

24 years have passed. Many things have changed. I am not the same girl that I used to be on my 18^th birthday. And I am not the same lady that I used to be a year ago. Now that I am about to enter another stage of my life, I could say that I am proud of what I have become.

Stronger. Fiercer. More mature. Have learned a lot from previous experiences. This is Zephyr. The new Zephyr. Though I am still vulnerable to pain, I can say that now, I am more prepared on how people will treat me. I became an open-minded young lady that can accept that fact that some people could never like me, or treat me nice. Some people will come and then leave with no apparent reason. And my response on these things will always be: “That's OK”.

For the biggest change in my life. I will start with LOVE. Yes, love. I hope that I can do this one. I will now focus on my job, on my career, on what I truly want in my life, I will focus on myself now. I am turning 24 and I want to see myself as a successful young woman at the age of 25. As I would say, “tama na muna ang landi, trabaho muna!”. No more chasing. No more boys. No more thinking about my ex. This time, my life will just revolve around me, my family, my job and my friends.

So July, bring on the rain! Bring on all the positive vibes. I know we can make it. I can make it.

First Day of July 2014. 

Another Rejection, Oh Well!

“Your request has been rejected”.

Of course, there's no report for that. I found out by myself. My request to follow has been rejected. I saw that coming but I refused the idea of being rejected. I hoped high to being approved rather than being rejected. But that's fine. After all, this is not the first time. So it didn't hurt that much.

Oh well, I have been rejected many times. But what I have realized on those countless rejections was, in every single rejection, multiple acceptance by worth it people came rushing to me. So what's the sense of being sad? Why on earth should I care for those people who can't like me back. Always remember that we can never please everybody. Never!

So tonight, as I think of the last person who've just rejected a “connection request” from me, all I can say is: IT'S OKAY. Thank you for not giving me a chance to show myself a little more. I won't be angry, I won't take this badly. I know you have your reason. And yes, I have been rejected by you, but I am still happy because you're not mad at me. And that's one of the few things I need to know. :)

Tomorrow, the next day, on next month.. I'll be like: Heads up. Chin up. Walk straight. WHO YOU ka sakin! Wala kang Chatime! :P (Kidding)

Saturday Dilemma? Not AT All!

Today is Saturday. After having myself busy at Cubao to meet a friend, have some breakfast and drink some cheap lemon tea, here I am in the office, again. I love the ambiance here in the office especially when I can do anything because less people are here today. Wondering of what to do next before I meet another set of friends to do food tripping somewhere (can’t tell where), I decided to put my thoughts on notes.

It’s pretty amazing to look on my desktop’s background. I have his handsome face as my wallpaper. It really gives me the inspiration I've been longing to feel. By seeing his face, I want to strive more, harder, just to make sure he’ll notice me. Erase that, he already notice me, what I want is to get close to him, even as a friend.

So, here I am, typing while my eyes are all locked to see his face, mind blowing with crazy thoughts and ears that listens to a voice that used to irritates me.

I have a lot of things to write. I have a lot of things to share. God never fails to bless me with positivity and good days. He put me to a situation where I pushed myself to the limit of becoming better. I've learned the true meaning of sacrifice, love, friendship and being me. Now, my life is better than yesterday.

And if ever I finally decided to leave, I won’t worry because I have a great back-up. I have God, which I know will never let me down. And my friends will always be there for me. But if I decided to stay a little longer, few months or a year, I guess it’s my choice to get stranded on a place where I can see a part of my dream. In a daily basis. 

I Wish I was a Daddy’s Girl

23 years and I haven’t met my father. I do know his name, his province and a little something about his life. I never get tired of thinking that someday, one day, I will be able to meet him.

23 years and I am wondering. Does this man ever wonder where I am? What I have become? Or if I am still alive? Because that’s how I care about him. I am thinking about him, what he really looks like or if he even is still alive.

23 years and I’m chasing this man that I shouldn't be chasing at all. He should be the one to chase me. He should be the one to find me. He should be the one to reconcile.

 I never had anger inside my heart. I can never be mad at him. I am not aware of the real story. I have no idea what happened. Why he left me. Why he is not here with me. All I know is somewhere out there, I do have a father.

I wish I have him. Here. With Me. I wish I was a Daddy’s Girl. I wish I have a dad whom will guide me and teach me about guys. I want a father-daughter relationship like how I watched them in the movies. I want a father who’ll drive me to school, to work, to my friends’ house just to make sure that I am okay. I want a father who’ll stay beside me specially on my darkest hour. And above all, I want my own Father.

June is the time when we celebrate Father’s Day. 23 years and I never cared about this “special day”. Why should I? But this year, I decided to finally write something about this day.

So, for my father, I want to greet you a Happy Father’s Day. I hope you are well. And someday, when I am ready enough, I will be the one to come after you. 

Aren't They So Hot?

How can a lady tell who's hot and who's not? For me, a guy can be so hot by having a body which seems so perfect (six-packs of abs, why not?), a cheeks with deep dimples, eyes that can melt even your soul and a smile that could bring you to a place that you've always dream of.

Aside from these physical looks, guys can be so HOT in our eyes by being successful on his career, knowing that this man has a dream and he's living to pursue them. Manners do matters as well – kind, caring, honest and one-woman-man are the qualities of a true hot guy.

With so much deliberation with my self, I have here a list of 5 of the hottest men in the world, FOR ME.

To be honest, ranking these five guys is one of the hardest things I have done in my life. :)

5^th - Joseph Gordon-Levitt
I watched several movies where Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the main actor but I have only noticed his hotness on the film – Don Jon. Yes, that film defines Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a hot, sexy man with a good heart. At a very young age, he appeared on several movies and TV shows. And now that he's 33 years old, he has grown to be a successful screenwriter, actor, director, producer and the owner of hitREcord.

Clothes on, clothes off, Joseph Gordon-Levitt will always look hot! Whether he put that cute smile on his face or he shows a seducing look. This man is truly a good catch.

        

4^Th - Tyler Blackburn Tyler starred on Pretty Little Liars as Caleb – an American TV show with Ashley Benson as her love team. This actor-singer looks definitely hot with his long sexy hair and pair of eyes that could melt you when he stare. The success of PLL also takes Tyler to another TV Series or a spin-off which is Ravenswood.

This year (2014), Tyler had his hair cut which made him look hotter than before.

        

3^Rd - Neymar Jr. Because today is the opening of FIFA and there are 32 countries to defeat against each other, I might as well pick one players from them. Among Ronaldo (Portugal), I find Neymar Jr. as the hottest player on this year. This 22 year old footballer plays for Brasil as forward and winger and also plays for Barca in La Liga.

I have this man in my mind since morning. He is my inspiration for this post. Neymar looks hot when he's shirtless and his tattoos are visible. Young yet successful on his career. Many years from now, I hope that he'll become like Ronaldo or Beckham.

2^Nd - Misagh Bahadoran Second on my list is a Filipino-Iranian Azkals footballer - Misagh Bahadoran. He plays forward on Global FC and winger on Philippine National Team. I started to like Misagh when I first saw him plays in Azkal. Number 09.

Misagh is 27 years old and graduated with Dentistry degree at CEU. Among this list, I've already met Misagh and he is such a nice guy. Handsome, hot body, one of the best soccer player and an educated man. Who else could be the hottest. And mind his eyes, you might kill yourself by staring.

          

1^St - Naive Lord I guess you haven't heard this name, well neither did I. But this man is on my top list. He has no great body like these guys on my list, nor the popularity points but he is the hottest because of his smile.

Every time Naive Lord smiles, he automatically leaves a smile on my face as well. When he smile, his eyes smiles as well. He can brighten up my days, the room, the gloomiest scene every time he give his smile. And he is a good, loyal, one-woman-man. The best description of a hot guy.

There, so have I mentioned any of the guys that you adore? And oh, Aren't They So Hot?

He's Everything You Want, But Does He Want You?

And here we go again. You found him. The man of your dreams. The one you've been praying to God to come in your life. But, who is he looking at? Why is he kissing that girl's lips instead of your? What was that on his finger? Oh and once again, he can't be yours. He can never be yours. 

And I quote, “We fall in love with people we can't have”. Well this is true. You think you finally found him. He's everything you want. He's nice, kind, handsome, a joker, fun to be with, sweet, mature... everything. He's just everything. And you means nothing to him.

Remember the first time you saw him? You noticed him and ignored him at the same time. On your mind, he's just a nobody. But as the time passes by, you realized that he means something. He becomes the reason why you're so excited about your brand new day. And, until that day that you finally knew in your heart, he's everything that you've always wanted.

But does he want you? Does he even know you? Or look at you when you cross his way? You can never tell. But you have your moves. You asked about him – his name, relationship status, his likes, whatever that could help you to get close to him. You find ways to introduce yourself to him with a little help from your friends.

And now he gets to notice you. Small talks. Small conversations. Simple hellos and a call to your name. It was something that can always makes you smile.

And you know what's best? It is that curve in his face that always makes your world turns upside down – his smile. Even if this is for you or for others, his smile can erase all the burdens you have in your heart. His smile became your heartache's cure. He became an angel that helped you to find your way back to happiness.

But, is he aware about this? Does he even know? Well who cares? As long as he can make you happy and you're still on the right track. Nothing really matters but his smile. And you know for yourself that you will not do anything that is beyond your limit or his limitation.

So, there he goes, the man of your dreams. He's everything you want, but does he like you? No, he don't like you but liking him is enough. And this is going to be an open secret.

 

Break-Up Depression as I Know It

I never thought that break-up would be this hard. On this day, 4^th of May is the third month when that special someone broke up with me and left me due to reasons that I wouldn't want the whole world to know. All I know is, I made mistakes that even this so-called love couldn't be forgiven.

I was a jealous woman, well who wouldn't be? This is a part of every human being called “woman”. Even the most beautiful or successful woman in the world has their own insecurities. I've been fighting for that, afraid that I might lost that someone special – well in the end you know what happened.

How?

How can you even undo the mistakes? How can you ever fix what's broken. Provided with time, provided with space. Now that you have to finally let go of everything. How will I move on? How will I continue with my life when all I ever think of is spending every minute of it with you? How will I stand up? How will I?

You've been very angry with me. I regret everything. You were the best thing I ever had. The best thing God has ever given to me. And yet I have pushed you away, so faraway that I cannot even reach you.. again. It hurts a lot. When all I ever wanted was to make you happy and yet all I ever did was hurt you.

How will I ever take those pains? How will I ever take away those anger? How will I leave you? How can I say goodbye? Maybe.. just maybe its not time or space.. What I must really do is pick up all the pieces and learn on what I have made. Learn from my mistake.. And give you what you want - and that is for me to leave - forever.

I love you. I will always will. But I'm not good enough for you now. If ever you needed me, I will still be here. And this ring will never be removed from my finger. You will always be loved.

The Perfect Lie by Zephyr

The Perfect Lie

Ups and Downs

With you i have learned

In this changing phase

Of seeking the real me

No doubt of being two

No chance of thinking twice

The world has lead me

To the path that awaken me

With shimmering glow

Of lips that tell lies

With a glamorous dress

Of a body that shines

This naive soul of mine

Had died and became numb.

Pretension became a habit 

Hiding became the strength

And being okay as the perfect lie. 

Pahabol sa 2014 - Bucket List

Late na ba para sa aking makabuluhang 2014 bucket list? Hindi pa naman siguro dahil January pa rin naman, diba? Hmmm ito lang naman kasi yan, noong nakaraang taon (2013), wala man akong bulgarag bucket list, may mga bagay naman akong na-achieved na naayon sa aking plano. Kaya ngayong 2014, maglilista ako ng mga bagay na gusto kong i-prioritize sa taon ng mga kabayo.

Well, sa ngayon ito muna ang maililista ko:

1. "In every past, one true friend awaits".. Nung binalikan ko ang mga photos ko nung 2013, napansin ko na karamihan sa mga taong kasama ko ay yun at yun pa ren. Hindi ako nagsasawa sa kanila, at ayoko silang mawala sa mga susunod kong photos sa susunod pang maraming taon. Pero ngayong 2014, sana at susubukan kong mag reach out sa mga taong naging kaibigan / close friends ko noong kabataan ko. Dahil ngayon, ramdam kong miss ko na talaga sila. Especially yung mga high school friends ko. Kaya sa mga kasama ko ng taong 2013, dagdagan natin ang mga mukha sa mga litratong mapo-proseso natin. :)

2. "Fly away on my Zephyr"... Isa lang ito - ang makarating ako sa mga lugar na eroplano ang sinakyan. Labas man o loob ng bansa, siguro ito na ang taon para ang isang taong ipinaganak sa taon ng mga kabayo ay makalipad. Pero pasok pa rin dito ang makagala, sa mga lugar na hindi ko napuntahan noong 2013. Dagdag sa aking makasaysayang buhay ang isang malupit na adventure!

3. "Love on Top".. Sa simpleng salita ay mamundok. Hindi ko planong akyatin ang pinaka mataas ng bundok sa Pinas. Aminado ako na hindi ko kaya yun. Pero sana bago matapos ang 2014, makarating man lang ako sa tuktok ng Mt. Batulaw o hindi naman kaya ay sa Pico de Loro. Kaya sayo, aking mahal, samahan mo ko! :D

4. "Feed 'em all with coins".. Desidido ako dito. Sa pagtatapos ng 2014. mapupuno ko ang dalawa kong alikansya sa opisina. Coins, papers, lahat yan isusuksok ko sa aking alikansya. At dapat sa bawat sentimong kikitain ko, may mailalaan ako sa para sa bangko. Dapat matupad ko ito. Sa lahat lahat.. importante ito.

5. "Some past needs to be on your present life".. Ano na naman ito? Well, sa kabuuan ng aking nakaraan, isa ang pinaka gusto kong balikan. Pinaka mababaw, pero mahalaga sa akin. Ito ang pagiging payat. Mahirap sya. Ang sarap kayang kumain! Pero dapat kayanin ko! Kung hindi naman ako maging payat, magawa ko man lang sanang flat yung tyan at puson ko. Ahaha. 

O ayan. Nakapagsulat na ako. Suportahan niyo lang ako, kapit lang, magagawa ko to. Sabi nga nila, isa-isa lang at hindi pwedeng lahat at sabay sabay kong magagawa. Kaya ito muna, first things first. 

Ikaw, kayo, anong gagawin niyo sa taong 2014? Ibahagi na!