Saturday Dilemma? Not AT All!

Today is Saturday. After having myself busy at Cubao to meet a friend, have some breakfast and drink some cheap lemon tea, here I am in the office, again. I love the ambiance here in the office especially when I can do anything because less people are here today. Wondering of what to do next before I meet another set of friends to do food tripping somewhere (can’t tell where), I decided to put my thoughts on notes.

It’s pretty amazing to look on my desktop’s background. I have his handsome face as my wallpaper. It really gives me the inspiration I've been longing to feel. By seeing his face, I want to strive more, harder, just to make sure he’ll notice me. Erase that, he already notice me, what I want is to get close to him, even as a friend.

So, here I am, typing while my eyes are all locked to see his face, mind blowing with crazy thoughts and ears that listens to a voice that used to irritates me.

I have a lot of things to write. I have a lot of things to share. God never fails to bless me with positivity and good days. He put me to a situation where I pushed myself to the limit of becoming better. I've learned the true meaning of sacrifice, love, friendship and being me. Now, my life is better than yesterday.

And if ever I finally decided to leave, I won’t worry because I have a great back-up. I have God, which I know will never let me down. And my friends will always be there for me. But if I decided to stay a little longer, few months or a year, I guess it’s my choice to get stranded on a place where I can see a part of my dream. In a daily basis. 

I Wish I was a Daddy’s Girl

23 years and I haven’t met my father. I do know his name, his province and a little something about his life. I never get tired of thinking that someday, one day, I will be able to meet him.

23 years and I am wondering. Does this man ever wonder where I am? What I have become? Or if I am still alive? Because that’s how I care about him. I am thinking about him, what he really looks like or if he even is still alive.

23 years and I’m chasing this man that I shouldn't be chasing at all. He should be the one to chase me. He should be the one to find me. He should be the one to reconcile.

 I never had anger inside my heart. I can never be mad at him. I am not aware of the real story. I have no idea what happened. Why he left me. Why he is not here with me. All I know is somewhere out there, I do have a father.

I wish I have him. Here. With Me. I wish I was a Daddy’s Girl. I wish I have a dad whom will guide me and teach me about guys. I want a father-daughter relationship like how I watched them in the movies. I want a father who’ll drive me to school, to work, to my friends’ house just to make sure that I am okay. I want a father who’ll stay beside me specially on my darkest hour. And above all, I want my own Father.

June is the time when we celebrate Father’s Day. 23 years and I never cared about this “special day”. Why should I? But this year, I decided to finally write something about this day.

So, for my father, I want to greet you a Happy Father’s Day. I hope you are well. And someday, when I am ready enough, I will be the one to come after you. 

Aren't They So Hot?

How can a lady tell who's hot and who's not? For me, a guy can be so hot by having a body which seems so perfect (six-packs of abs, why not?), a cheeks with deep dimples, eyes that can melt even your soul and a smile that could bring you to a place that you've always dream of.

Aside from these physical looks, guys can be so HOT in our eyes by being successful on his career, knowing that this man has a dream and he's living to pursue them. Manners do matters as well – kind, caring, honest and one-woman-man are the qualities of a true hot guy.

With so much deliberation with my self, I have here a list of 5 of the hottest men in the world, FOR ME.

To be honest, ranking these five guys is one of the hardest things I have done in my life. :)

5^th - Joseph Gordon-Levitt
I watched several movies where Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the main actor but I have only noticed his hotness on the film – Don Jon. Yes, that film defines Joseph Gordon-Levitt as a hot, sexy man with a good heart. At a very young age, he appeared on several movies and TV shows. And now that he's 33 years old, he has grown to be a successful screenwriter, actor, director, producer and the owner of hitREcord.

Clothes on, clothes off, Joseph Gordon-Levitt will always look hot! Whether he put that cute smile on his face or he shows a seducing look. This man is truly a good catch.

        

4^Th - Tyler Blackburn Tyler starred on Pretty Little Liars as Caleb – an American TV show with Ashley Benson as her love team. This actor-singer looks definitely hot with his long sexy hair and pair of eyes that could melt you when he stare. The success of PLL also takes Tyler to another TV Series or a spin-off which is Ravenswood.

This year (2014), Tyler had his hair cut which made him look hotter than before.

        

3^Rd - Neymar Jr. Because today is the opening of FIFA and there are 32 countries to defeat against each other, I might as well pick one players from them. Among Ronaldo (Portugal), I find Neymar Jr. as the hottest player on this year. This 22 year old footballer plays for Brasil as forward and winger and also plays for Barca in La Liga.

I have this man in my mind since morning. He is my inspiration for this post. Neymar looks hot when he's shirtless and his tattoos are visible. Young yet successful on his career. Many years from now, I hope that he'll become like Ronaldo or Beckham.

2^Nd - Misagh Bahadoran Second on my list is a Filipino-Iranian Azkals footballer - Misagh Bahadoran. He plays forward on Global FC and winger on Philippine National Team. I started to like Misagh when I first saw him plays in Azkal. Number 09.

Misagh is 27 years old and graduated with Dentistry degree at CEU. Among this list, I've already met Misagh and he is such a nice guy. Handsome, hot body, one of the best soccer player and an educated man. Who else could be the hottest. And mind his eyes, you might kill yourself by staring.

          

1^St - Naive Lord I guess you haven't heard this name, well neither did I. But this man is on my top list. He has no great body like these guys on my list, nor the popularity points but he is the hottest because of his smile.

Every time Naive Lord smiles, he automatically leaves a smile on my face as well. When he smile, his eyes smiles as well. He can brighten up my days, the room, the gloomiest scene every time he give his smile. And he is a good, loyal, one-woman-man. The best description of a hot guy.

There, so have I mentioned any of the guys that you adore? And oh, Aren't They So Hot?

He's Everything You Want, But Does He Want You?

And here we go again. You found him. The man of your dreams. The one you've been praying to God to come in your life. But, who is he looking at? Why is he kissing that girl's lips instead of your? What was that on his finger? Oh and once again, he can't be yours. He can never be yours. 

And I quote, “We fall in love with people we can't have”. Well this is true. You think you finally found him. He's everything you want. He's nice, kind, handsome, a joker, fun to be with, sweet, mature... everything. He's just everything. And you means nothing to him.

Remember the first time you saw him? You noticed him and ignored him at the same time. On your mind, he's just a nobody. But as the time passes by, you realized that he means something. He becomes the reason why you're so excited about your brand new day. And, until that day that you finally knew in your heart, he's everything that you've always wanted.

But does he want you? Does he even know you? Or look at you when you cross his way? You can never tell. But you have your moves. You asked about him – his name, relationship status, his likes, whatever that could help you to get close to him. You find ways to introduce yourself to him with a little help from your friends.

And now he gets to notice you. Small talks. Small conversations. Simple hellos and a call to your name. It was something that can always makes you smile.

And you know what's best? It is that curve in his face that always makes your world turns upside down – his smile. Even if this is for you or for others, his smile can erase all the burdens you have in your heart. His smile became your heartache's cure. He became an angel that helped you to find your way back to happiness.

But, is he aware about this? Does he even know? Well who cares? As long as he can make you happy and you're still on the right track. Nothing really matters but his smile. And you know for yourself that you will not do anything that is beyond your limit or his limitation.

So, there he goes, the man of your dreams. He's everything you want, but does he like you? No, he don't like you but liking him is enough. And this is going to be an open secret.

 

Break-Up Depression as I Know It

I never thought that break-up would be this hard. On this day, 4^th of May is the third month when that special someone broke up with me and left me due to reasons that I wouldn't want the whole world to know. All I know is, I made mistakes that even this so-called love couldn't be forgiven.

I was a jealous woman, well who wouldn't be? This is a part of every human being called “woman”. Even the most beautiful or successful woman in the world has their own insecurities. I've been fighting for that, afraid that I might lost that someone special – well in the end you know what happened.

How?

How can you even undo the mistakes? How can you ever fix what's broken. Provided with time, provided with space. Now that you have to finally let go of everything. How will I move on? How will I continue with my life when all I ever think of is spending every minute of it with you? How will I stand up? How will I?

You've been very angry with me. I regret everything. You were the best thing I ever had. The best thing God has ever given to me. And yet I have pushed you away, so faraway that I cannot even reach you.. again. It hurts a lot. When all I ever wanted was to make you happy and yet all I ever did was hurt you.

How will I ever take those pains? How will I ever take away those anger? How will I leave you? How can I say goodbye? Maybe.. just maybe its not time or space.. What I must really do is pick up all the pieces and learn on what I have made. Learn from my mistake.. And give you what you want - and that is for me to leave - forever.

I love you. I will always will. But I'm not good enough for you now. If ever you needed me, I will still be here. And this ring will never be removed from my finger. You will always be loved.

The Perfect Lie by Zephyr

The Perfect Lie

Ups and Downs

With you i have learned

In this changing phase

Of seeking the real me

No doubt of being two

No chance of thinking twice

The world has lead me

To the path that awaken me

With shimmering glow

Of lips that tell lies

With a glamorous dress

Of a body that shines

This naive soul of mine

Had died and became numb.

Pretension became a habit 

Hiding became the strength

And being okay as the perfect lie.