He's Everything You Want, But Does He Want You?

And here we go again. You found him. The man of your dreams. The one you've been praying to God to come in your life. But, who is he looking at? Why is he kissing that girl's lips instead of your? What was that on his finger? Oh and once again, he can't be yours. He can never be yours. 

And I quote, “We fall in love with people we can't have”. Well this is true. You think you finally found him. He's everything you want. He's nice, kind, handsome, a joker, fun to be with, sweet, mature... everything. He's just everything. And you means nothing to him.

Remember the first time you saw him? You noticed him and ignored him at the same time. On your mind, he's just a nobody. But as the time passes by, you realized that he means something. He becomes the reason why you're so excited about your brand new day. And, until that day that you finally knew in your heart, he's everything that you've always wanted.

But does he want you? Does he even know you? Or look at you when you cross his way? You can never tell. But you have your moves. You asked about him – his name, relationship status, his likes, whatever that could help you to get close to him. You find ways to introduce yourself to him with a little help from your friends.

And now he gets to notice you. Small talks. Small conversations. Simple hellos and a call to your name. It was something that can always makes you smile.

And you know what's best? It is that curve in his face that always makes your world turns upside down – his smile. Even if this is for you or for others, his smile can erase all the burdens you have in your heart. His smile became your heartache's cure. He became an angel that helped you to find your way back to happiness.

But, is he aware about this? Does he even know? Well who cares? As long as he can make you happy and you're still on the right track. Nothing really matters but his smile. And you know for yourself that you will not do anything that is beyond your limit or his limitation.

So, there he goes, the man of your dreams. He's everything you want, but does he like you? No, he don't like you but liking him is enough. And this is going to be an open secret.

 

Break-Up Depression as I Know It

I never thought that break-up would be this hard. On this day, 4^th of May is the third month when that special someone broke up with me and left me due to reasons that I wouldn't want the whole world to know. All I know is, I made mistakes that even this so-called love couldn't be forgiven.

I was a jealous woman, well who wouldn't be? This is a part of every human being called “woman”. Even the most beautiful or successful woman in the world has their own insecurities. I've been fighting for that, afraid that I might lost that someone special – well in the end you know what happened.

How?

How can you even undo the mistakes? How can you ever fix what's broken. Provided with time, provided with space. Now that you have to finally let go of everything. How will I move on? How will I continue with my life when all I ever think of is spending every minute of it with you? How will I stand up? How will I?

You've been very angry with me. I regret everything. You were the best thing I ever had. The best thing God has ever given to me. And yet I have pushed you away, so faraway that I cannot even reach you.. again. It hurts a lot. When all I ever wanted was to make you happy and yet all I ever did was hurt you.

How will I ever take those pains? How will I ever take away those anger? How will I leave you? How can I say goodbye? Maybe.. just maybe its not time or space.. What I must really do is pick up all the pieces and learn on what I have made. Learn from my mistake.. And give you what you want - and that is for me to leave - forever.

I love you. I will always will. But I'm not good enough for you now. If ever you needed me, I will still be here. And this ring will never be removed from my finger. You will always be loved.

The Perfect Lie by Zephyr

The Perfect Lie

Ups and Downs

With you i have learned

In this changing phase

Of seeking the real me

No doubt of being two

No chance of thinking twice

The world has lead me

To the path that awaken me

With shimmering glow

Of lips that tell lies

With a glamorous dress

Of a body that shines

This naive soul of mine

Had died and became numb.

Pretension became a habit 

Hiding became the strength

And being okay as the perfect lie. 

Pahabol sa 2014 - Bucket List

Late na ba para sa aking makabuluhang 2014 bucket list? Hindi pa naman siguro dahil January pa rin naman, diba? Hmmm ito lang naman kasi yan, noong nakaraang taon (2013), wala man akong bulgarag bucket list, may mga bagay naman akong na-achieved na naayon sa aking plano. Kaya ngayong 2014, maglilista ako ng mga bagay na gusto kong i-prioritize sa taon ng mga kabayo.

Well, sa ngayon ito muna ang maililista ko:

1. "In every past, one true friend awaits".. Nung binalikan ko ang mga photos ko nung 2013, napansin ko na karamihan sa mga taong kasama ko ay yun at yun pa ren. Hindi ako nagsasawa sa kanila, at ayoko silang mawala sa mga susunod kong photos sa susunod pang maraming taon. Pero ngayong 2014, sana at susubukan kong mag reach out sa mga taong naging kaibigan / close friends ko noong kabataan ko. Dahil ngayon, ramdam kong miss ko na talaga sila. Especially yung mga high school friends ko. Kaya sa mga kasama ko ng taong 2013, dagdagan natin ang mga mukha sa mga litratong mapo-proseso natin. :)

2. "Fly away on my Zephyr"... Isa lang ito - ang makarating ako sa mga lugar na eroplano ang sinakyan. Labas man o loob ng bansa, siguro ito na ang taon para ang isang taong ipinaganak sa taon ng mga kabayo ay makalipad. Pero pasok pa rin dito ang makagala, sa mga lugar na hindi ko napuntahan noong 2013. Dagdag sa aking makasaysayang buhay ang isang malupit na adventure!

3. "Love on Top".. Sa simpleng salita ay mamundok. Hindi ko planong akyatin ang pinaka mataas ng bundok sa Pinas. Aminado ako na hindi ko kaya yun. Pero sana bago matapos ang 2014, makarating man lang ako sa tuktok ng Mt. Batulaw o hindi naman kaya ay sa Pico de Loro. Kaya sayo, aking mahal, samahan mo ko! :D

4. "Feed 'em all with coins".. Desidido ako dito. Sa pagtatapos ng 2014. mapupuno ko ang dalawa kong alikansya sa opisina. Coins, papers, lahat yan isusuksok ko sa aking alikansya. At dapat sa bawat sentimong kikitain ko, may mailalaan ako sa para sa bangko. Dapat matupad ko ito. Sa lahat lahat.. importante ito.

5. "Some past needs to be on your present life".. Ano na naman ito? Well, sa kabuuan ng aking nakaraan, isa ang pinaka gusto kong balikan. Pinaka mababaw, pero mahalaga sa akin. Ito ang pagiging payat. Mahirap sya. Ang sarap kayang kumain! Pero dapat kayanin ko! Kung hindi naman ako maging payat, magawa ko man lang sanang flat yung tyan at puson ko. Ahaha. 

O ayan. Nakapagsulat na ako. Suportahan niyo lang ako, kapit lang, magagawa ko to. Sabi nga nila, isa-isa lang at hindi pwedeng lahat at sabay sabay kong magagawa. Kaya ito muna, first things first. 

Ikaw, kayo, anong gagawin niyo sa taong 2014? Ibahagi na!

What is Life?

what is life where lived by yourself

chosen your own companions

in a box called home?

one is a cat, the other half is yours

to keep as lover and friend as well.

what is life where hit by sadness

when all you want 

is happiness to keep?

go far away then return back home

back in a place 

a place you want to leave.

what is life where the decision is yours

either bad or good

there's nothing to regret?

I hope I can live

In a life I have dreamed for

where reality lies

in this world full of misfortune.

The Launching of "Kain pa LinkBuilder na Matakaw!"

Does it seem that I have forgotten to post news stuffs on my blog? Of course not, yours truly is kinda busy doing some good things.

Here to follow is the launch of my newest blog, entitled: Kain pa LinkBuilder na Matakaw. This is going to be different but will talk about foods and drinks experience that I am gpoing through. 

If you are a food enthusiast or simply a food lover, come on and support the journey of our friend, ang Linkbuilder na Matakaw. 

Here's the snapshot:

My newest blog: http://kainpalinkbuildernamatakaw.blogspot.com.au/

Note: Don't worry about the posts, it'll be written in Filipino but in time, I'll translate them in English. 

Also, take time to visit her at http://about.me/anglinkbuildernamatakaw. 

Thanks for the suport!