Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love.  A love that requires nothing. Just a hope. Hope for that person to love you back.

How hard could it be when that special someone can't love you back completely. When a doubt seems to be the only thing he/she believes in. 

Unrequited Love. Two words, just two words yet can be the only words to tell what you are, who you and how you became that "ONE".

I'm tired. Living with these words. Trying to be someone, pretending to be strong. I'm tired of being the weakest link. But what else can I do? When every time I think of doing changes in my life, i feel more tired.

Well, i guess this is just another sleepless night, while i will be lying on my bed, hugging tight Garfield and Babz with thoughts circling around my head. I can sense my head telling me to stop worrying, stop doubting. But I can't. Why? No assurance given, lack of trust to invest and more thrilling emotions to experience.

I am hoping for something. Unrequited Love - please be with me. :)

i was born on JULY :)

JULY BABY

 

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. 

TRUE. isn't it??

the only exception: Brielle

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gotta get" 

Since the day i have watched Forrest Gump, these words became my words. From the moment i realized it was right, things became clear. Throughout my life, unexpected things keep on happening. And this one is something i never thought i could ever experience.

October of 2011, regular shift on our office had new trainees for the position of graphic designer/website designer. It is unlikely new to us, but what caught my attention was the newest trainee. The smallest of the group, someone who doesn't seem to talk much, different and someone i never thought I'll get close with. And honestly, i had my first impression as the basis of having what is used to think about "her".

Since the day i was born, i haven't much time getting involve with lesbians, i doesn't even have a single friend of their kind, that's why when first saw this new trainee, i instantly doesn't paid much attention to her. Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against them, its just that i was just too busy lurking myself with boys and gays are usually the friends i choose to have.

Fool Again :/

i was a fool.. 

then i became a fool again..

how stupid i was.

to believe in all these lies

i thought i was strong

yet you came along

without knowing why

you made me confused

with words i thought was real

now weakness had caught me

though i refused to let it in

tell myself

i must be strong again..

now i know

why believing is hard

why doubt is enough

for me to trust my instinct.

i was wrong

or i was paranoid

i don't know.

guess i must take it slow

think before i go beyond

think before i let you go.

Who's Faking It??

 I've changed, i noticed that

With no reason, without a doubt

I don't know how, I can't tell why

Should i let it win?

Should i let it go?

What else can i do, it's all over my system?

I was so weak, I was in vain

then something came, i became so strong

i learned to hide, i learned to fake

Just to be brave when someone is in pain.

If I Die Young :)

 Since we are celebrating this special day to remember those people whom left us in this world with or without a word, a topic came into my mind. I remember the song "When I Die Young" and i decided to write my own will. Its not that i am expecting death, i just think that this one is a good topic right now..

Life is a Mess: Crab Mentality

 This piece just came into my mind while i  was so disgusted with some events happening right now. I just want to speak it loud so i can let it go away then  let myself free..

Life is a Mess: Crab Mentality

Life is amess

you need to clean it by yourself

full of envious people everywhere

whom you thought was your family.